Sailor jerry love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xcf_EukkEFs

WC Post Orgasmic Chill

SA Post World Cup


You may have noticed the WC in South Africa was a roaring success. I believe it was, although some might have not noticed it through the vuvuzelas, which I love incidentally.

I was among a group of South Africans that absolutely without doubt expected the WC to be fantastic, I am in some circles naïve, in others stupid, in still others I am a lefty pinko liberal black lover. However in some circles I am just a normal guy who has faith in a Country that has succesfully run numerous large sporting events.

The tone of this article is more the post-orgasmic chill that is descending, or not, in South Africa. Its an interesting time to be here.

There are a number of things that lead you to believe that its all gone to “kak” again. Such as the traffic nightmare returning, ALL roadworks were paused for the WC so that there was as little traffic as possible. Julius Malema has started talking again, He being the leader of the ANC Youth League, and quite possibly the dumbest human being to be in any sort of public awareness, I included Paris Hilton here... her and her marijuana.

More important to me is the Obsession South Africans have with Being Proud of the country. It really is an obsession. We have this insistence on telling everyone that we had a great conversation at the Licensing board, the Traffic Police Station and Home Affairs. There is a tangible desire to since the WC that we keep everything going in that direction, from the smallest thing all the way up to govt. That is not always easy, what with the govt. suddenly post WC trying to get some sort of censorship on the press.

But there are other things, for instance LEADSA which is an initiative created by a corporation that, despite my disregard for all things “positive” created by corporates, is a great initiative, whereby they encourage every South Africa to “Lead” South Africa by their behaviour. Just today I saw a BillBoard that said “Fight Corruption Dont Bribe Traffic Police” which on the face of it is quite comical, but actually its a pretty cool thing to say and to get people to think about. Every South African has bribed a cop at some stage, whether we were a little pissed on the way home and slipped a 20 into his/her hand or whether it was a cop being unreasonable and there being no way to get out of a possible dangerous situation.

There is the other side of things that is great for South African Football. Every South African supports an English Team, for me it is... for my sins, Liverpool. But most are getting their act together and are finding a local team, I do speak more for the whiteys like myself regarding local teams as most Black South Africas do have a team already. My best mate here, who is a German, and I are finding our local team to support, to buy tickets Merchandise and to therefore support the team. These things all make a difference. So hopefully with a few thousand more supporters SA Football will gain a little money and will help our national team up a few more rungs in the international ladder. Which I certainly believe we deserve to be.

Official ....

Facebook update: Soandso McNodody has invited you to join The Official Site to Remove Julius Malema as the Head of the ANCYL


... you to join "If we get 1 quatrillion members bob Mugabe will resign as President of Zimbabwe"


WTF is this shit.

Seriously, what a load. Does anyone actually believe that if they join these groups, that they'll somehow be making the world a better place?



Just like Bono. Which brings me to this ultimate wanker. Bono a man who insists the population of Ireland must give away their money to nameless African Leaders, but lives in a Tax Haven.


I am losing focus.


If someone sends you an "Official" facebook group invitation that is not started by some wank shit like Xfactor or Kazakhstan's Got Talent (I might join that actually)

Dont fucking join it, its shit, it makes you look stupid

Look at the picture, it has this "Rainbow Nation bullshit" attached to it, with those black white coloured indian hands all together looking like they are having some sort of RA RA RA chant.

"Julius out he's a bad man"

"ON 3"

"JULIUS OUT HE'S A BAD MAN"

"Well done team rainbow"




Fools

I love swearing. I really do.

Its something that is underrated and hated and judged unfairly.

I recently watched a doccie called "Fuck" which highlighted the hypocrisy of people who judge others who use that particular word. Its an excellent show.

Most important for me is that some people really believe swearing is a cheap way of making an impact when, you need to be really smart to use it well.

I attach my first example of brilliant swearing.

I love it for two reasons, the second guys response to the first guys assertion uses only one word, but uses it twice. Secondly he uses the word "literally" which with its double meaning really adds a lot of humour.

I hope Colin and Lauren Daniels' marriage didnt fall apart

I did an odd/creepy thing.

I went for a run a few months ago and found about 40 dvd's lying naked in the road.

Now the chance that they would be cool, is almost zero. Its like Demetri Martin Says "finding something in your hair is never going to be a good thing, its not like its going to be a treat or something"

They all had the same Print on the surface of the DVD:
Colin & Lauren Daniels
22nd March 2009
Wedding DVD

Each line had a different font, which a major pet peeve of mine. But, it was pretty cover and she looked hot, so I thought I'd take a look.

Facebook stalking is one thing. Watching a perfect strangers dvd. Thats fucked up!!

Anywho, nice flower arrangement. But seriously making the photos into a video. That sucks. Leave them as jpegs, that way people can delete all the photos of other people and just keep the ones the like.

Also. Music was Mediocre.

Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want is You
Amelie
David Gray - Now and Always
Some dodgy Piano Guitar Duo
A really nice French Song
Mama Cass Elliot - Dream a Little Dream of Me

Actually, its not that bad, I think I am so negative because she reminds me of my brothers AWFUL ex girlfriend... and she is a giantess
The Groom wore a beautiful tie

hopefully tossed away dvds dont mean a tossed away marriage.

Interpol

Interpol have a new song!!

Its called Lights, its the first single from their unreleased new album.

Slow, and steady. Very much like Wrecking Ball or Lighthouse.

Download it for Free from their website:

http://www.interpolnyc.com/

The dog-arsed mouths of the people who hate our country

You know those people.

The ones who stand in the line at woolworths and tut at the people who dont know how to use the "next customer please" system.

I have been dealing with a number of people recently who, despite the tsunami of goodwill coming our way from the World Cup, constantly moan about South Africans, the Government and the "I'm not racist, but the blacks..."

I was in Durban for a few days last week and I dropped a friend off at the new airport. Its wonderful, a few hiccups. It was only 2 hours old when I arrived, so thats not a big surprise. It is however beautiful and will be a joy, mostly because we dont have an unpronouncable volcano down the road. I was shocked by the number of people who complained about the exhorbitant amount of money spent on the highly neccessary building. Airports are expensive!!

These are the same people who would have complained if it was ugly and the worlds visitors would have had a bad first impression.

It annoys me that I need to defend the country against the tidal wave of negativity from its inhabitants.

anyway.

get positive and enjoy our beautiful country.

(or go to goddam Australia)

Artistic Integrity Part TWO of TWO

Lets consider the past, when artists had “sponsors” or “patrons”

Almost any artist in the past you can think of made something “for” someone because they paid them.
Its an extraordinarily difficult argument as, we would not have mozart had the Royals of Austria and a number of patrons not paid him to do his Art. Also backing the theory of backers being good is that, as artists get wealthier they get to choose who sponsors them and who is the KFC of their time.

Still, I cant help thinking that the sponsors of these modern day “Artists” are of such a low caste that it makes the artist look a putz.

Compare Lady Gaga and Die Antwoord.

I was sent a music video done by Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Telephone I think it was called.
I was watching it, as it was kicking up a stink for being “...a disgrace to feminism” which was utter tosh. Its a cool video. However every time you see a phone it has a Virgin Mobile Screen shot.

Its awful and I cant help thinking that its unnecessary for a couple of musicians who are that wealthy to sell out.

Followed by Die Antwoord who are currently taking over the world as “real South Africans”
I do not enjoy their music but I do have respect for them despite their Ad-Alignment. They live their Characters. Its a double edged blade, I find their dedication impressive but pretentious in its existence, the only thing keeping them from being “sell-outs” is their dedication. You can see how I could become confused with my own opinion.

So that said, I think the conclusion of the argument (I can do that, its my blog) is that it is very difficult to discern between being corporate wankers and ... not being corporate wankers.

Its safer to not have adverts using your Artistic image. But if you have to, please, dont promote a goddam fast-food chain.

Also, have some taste and dont listen to bloody Parlotones.

Jesus, if you think that its great that SA music is getting some airtime overseas, maybe consider the impact of these talentless fools. Send Kobus instead. At least then they'll think we are hard as fuck.

Artistic integrity Part ONE

Artistic integrity in the modern age

What does it mean and is it different from the past?

I have been having this discussion recently with a friend. It was a difficult question to answer and it started because I insulted The Parlotones.

It stands that I still think they are a bunch of sell out wankers with a penchant for 13 yr old girls and “ladies with cats”


An excerpt from a recent news site:

"Ending their year on a positive note, South African alternative rock band, The Parlotones has nabbed yet another lucrative deal. This time, the Johannesburg-based band has signed a deal that sees fast-food chain KFC funding the production of their new music video."

lets grab some words from that:

"positive note"
"ALTERNATIVE"
"Lucrative deal"
"Fast-food chain"

and a sentence

"funding the production of their new music video"

I refuse to be apologetic about this.

They are evil corporate shills, they are not artists and they and their fans deserve each other.

So they sold their souls to KFC for a the opportunity to film a music video... and I assume a great wad of cash. They have in the past sold their slutty souls to a number of different corporations. Fuji and Multichoice come to mind.

Now this friend said that it was not a problem and that I am just sensitive because I do not like their music. This is true, I do not like their brand of Pead-Oedipal Pop. However I think I would have had a little sympathy had they not been in a KFC ad.

There is little good to be said for artists in advertisements, as far as I am concerned. If you are in an advertisement, you lose your artistic licence. You have sold your image for a few bucks.
The difference between me (who has been in a few commercials as a “model”) and them is that they have sold “themselves” they have sold their identities to the highest fast-food bidder.

Why is it that they have aligned themselves with that brand of cultural barrenness? Couldnt they have pursued ... I dont know ... something with value to them as artists?

Maybe they could have gotten their manager (who I think is Kahn himself btw) to approach ... gosh this is difficult. There is almost nothing that they can go for considering their image. Maybe cat sellers.

The make Pead-Oedipal Pop and the Kahn wears fucking emo make-up. Its difficult to approach rolex isnt it.

That said, is it acceptable if the “artist” does a promo for a brand he/she considers appropriate to their “brand”? I dont know that it is. I am NOT an artist so I dont suffer from artistic driven poverty, but I think that if you sell your soul to the highest corporate bidder. Then you are no longer an artist, but a product aligned with that particular corporation.


According to “friend” and this was a spectacularly stupid statement . “That is like saying a sportsman is not a sportsman if they are in an advert”

Insanity, a sportsmans ethical code is on the field of their play. Not in the public realm. That statement is a no go.


... Next, Die Antwoord, Lady Gaga and Mozart

O Fortuna

So

O Fortuna by Carl Orff. I suggest the BBC philharmonic.
Listen with headphones. I highly highly recommend this as the music has many little nuances that you will need to hear.

1:36 the main chorus starts with MASSIVE drums, its great. really great with loud speaker
then finally at
2:12 the final drum plays and its like thunder, beautiful.

Please do listen

I really wanted to play this song for you guys somehow. Alas there are no (none that I can find anyway) widgets that work properly.

I might just pop the Amazon one on, even if it only gives 30secs, at least it'll give an idea of the awesomeness of this track

Wankers in Restaurants

Ok

I work a couple of nights in a restaurant and I think this needs to be said:

If you are a customer in a restaurant and you do any of the following things you are a wanker and a kak human being.

* You are OF the last tables and it is closing time but you just keep on chilling.
* You tip less than 10% (unless you get crap service)
* You give the waiter a massive smile and a big thumbs up and say "WOW great service" and still undertip. This does NOT pay his/her bills.
* You ignore the waiter when they come to the tables for specials.
* You start talking during specials, or answer the phone.
* You arrive later than your booking. This is a problem, stations are set out for a specific reason. So that you'll get the waiters undivided attention for at least a portion of time. Picture this:

You have a booking for 6 people at 7:00
you arrive at 7:30
another table has a reservation for 4 people at 7:30
they arrive at 7:30.

At least one table is going to get crap service. This is your fault.

You're a wanker.

* You have a reservation for 4 people and 5 people arrive.

Are you stupid?
THINK about it!

A table for 5 takes up the space of a table for 6 and more than likely the table has been reserved and there is no space. So you'll have to sit at a table for 4 with another chair added. You'll get pissed off and undertip the waiter.

This makes you a Wanker twice over. Its like you grew an extra cock and are now furiously masturbating that one too.

* Food is brought to your table and a runner/waiter comes over and says "200gram fillet, MR, with vegetables and a Pepper sauce"

No-one replies. Did you forget your order? Are you stupid? The runner has no idea who you are or what you ordered. Fucking pipe up and say "Yes, thats me" or "Oh, yes Gillian over there ordered that"

Help out.

Follow this with a "Thank You"

* If you sit with your chair so far out that no-one can walk past you. This is not a lounge, sit properly.
* If you think its funny when your kids are rude to a waiter. Its not and I'll fucking tell them too.
* If your kids are watching a dvd or playing a video game at a table. Not only are you a wanker.. but a shit parent too.
* If the waiter is bringing the food and there are a number of you at the table, its complicated and they want to make sure everything is coming as it should IE, with veg, done MR etc etc

And you start ordering drinks. THIS IS NOT THE TIME!

* You walk into a restaurant without a reservation and go "I'll sit there"

No you fucking will not! Are you on drugs? This is my house, I have reservations and you can ask politely if you may sit there.


This is the end

there is probably more and I will add them later.

But here is a rule of thumb: If you would not treat your friends like that, do not treat your waiter like that.

Also (apologies for the plagiarism, credit the movie Waiting)

"Never fuck with people who handle your food"

Welcome to my thoughts

So here I am.

Yes.

This blog is purely things I think about and each post will probably have little bearing on the previous one.

There will probably be politics, music, religion, movies and the odd rant.

Probably about those topics.

alright see you soon.