Wankers in Restaurants

Ok

I work a couple of nights in a restaurant and I think this needs to be said:

If you are a customer in a restaurant and you do any of the following things you are a wanker and a kak human being.

* You are OF the last tables and it is closing time but you just keep on chilling.
* You tip less than 10% (unless you get crap service)
* You give the waiter a massive smile and a big thumbs up and say "WOW great service" and still undertip. This does NOT pay his/her bills.
* You ignore the waiter when they come to the tables for specials.
* You start talking during specials, or answer the phone.
* You arrive later than your booking. This is a problem, stations are set out for a specific reason. So that you'll get the waiters undivided attention for at least a portion of time. Picture this:

You have a booking for 6 people at 7:00
you arrive at 7:30
another table has a reservation for 4 people at 7:30
they arrive at 7:30.

At least one table is going to get crap service. This is your fault.

You're a wanker.

* You have a reservation for 4 people and 5 people arrive.

Are you stupid?
THINK about it!

A table for 5 takes up the space of a table for 6 and more than likely the table has been reserved and there is no space. So you'll have to sit at a table for 4 with another chair added. You'll get pissed off and undertip the waiter.

This makes you a Wanker twice over. Its like you grew an extra cock and are now furiously masturbating that one too.

* Food is brought to your table and a runner/waiter comes over and says "200gram fillet, MR, with vegetables and a Pepper sauce"

No-one replies. Did you forget your order? Are you stupid? The runner has no idea who you are or what you ordered. Fucking pipe up and say "Yes, thats me" or "Oh, yes Gillian over there ordered that"

Help out.

Follow this with a "Thank You"

* If you sit with your chair so far out that no-one can walk past you. This is not a lounge, sit properly.
* If you think its funny when your kids are rude to a waiter. Its not and I'll fucking tell them too.
* If your kids are watching a dvd or playing a video game at a table. Not only are you a wanker.. but a shit parent too.
* If the waiter is bringing the food and there are a number of you at the table, its complicated and they want to make sure everything is coming as it should IE, with veg, done MR etc etc

And you start ordering drinks. THIS IS NOT THE TIME!

* You walk into a restaurant without a reservation and go "I'll sit there"

No you fucking will not! Are you on drugs? This is my house, I have reservations and you can ask politely if you may sit there.


This is the end

there is probably more and I will add them later.

But here is a rule of thumb: If you would not treat your friends like that, do not treat your waiter like that.

Also (apologies for the plagiarism, credit the movie Waiting)

"Never fuck with people who handle your food"

Welcome to my thoughts

So here I am.

Yes.

This blog is purely things I think about and each post will probably have little bearing on the previous one.

There will probably be politics, music, religion, movies and the odd rant.

Probably about those topics.

alright see you soon.